Happy Almost Birthday John Doe


Happy Almost Birthday John Doe

CREATED Feb. 18, 2013

Somebody has a birthday coming up!

In less than 2 1/2 months, John Chisholm's little John Doe turns three. Since most criminal investigations (including complex narcotics and organized crime prosecutions) are wrapped up in lots less time, John Doe is actually probably closer to 80 in prosecutor years.  Still, John Doe is hanging on.

John Doe came into the world on May 5, 2010 after then-Milwaukee County Executive Walker reported concerns that one of his aides had embezzled money from "Operation Freedom".  Milwaukee County DA John Chisholm, John Doe's daddy, quickly fed all sorts of other stuff to little Johnny making sure that he grew and grew.

Several members of Chisholm's political party had high hopes for John Doe.  First, they thought John would stop Scott Walker from being elected Governor in 2010.  Then they were positive that John would lead to a successful recall of Governor Walker in June of 2012.  Unfortunately for these anti-Walker folks, Mr. Doe has been a disappointment.

Despite reaching a pretty advanced age, some (perhaps including a few of John Doe's adopted uncles in the DA's Office) still dream that John Doe will bring Governor Walker down.  I guess hope springs eternal.

I guess John hasn't been a complete waste of resources.  He did catch the guy that Walker turned him onto in the first place.  He also nabbed a couple of county workers who were doing campaign work on the taxpayer's dime, one guy who donated too much money to Governor Walker and a guy who used his iPhone to talk dirty to someone who turned out to be a minor.  It's not exactly the French Connection - but I suppose it's something.

Still, John didn't age well.  In his pursuit of people connected to Governor Walker, John cut more than a few corners,  ran down some dead ends, threw more than his share of tantrums and unfairly ruined more than his share of reputations. He also cost his parents a ton of money.

My sense is that John, currently on life support, is about ready to be put out to pasture.  Some will say he has had a good run.  Others will say that his life was a colossal waste of time and resources.

I'll just say Happy Almost Birthday John.  As a taxpayer in Milwaukee County, please forgive me if I don't wish you too many more!